I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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