They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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