I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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