Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize