It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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