Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
