Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
