Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
