whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize