is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
