One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
