A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
