The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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