I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Also, beer. Big fan.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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