She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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