her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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