Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
