can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize