I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize