batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
