if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
