i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
