I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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