man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
