Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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