At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
