STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
