i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
