You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
