I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
