Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
