Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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