I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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