WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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