I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
