i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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