lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
