party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
