Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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