Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
