your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
