OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
