Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
