We won't sleep together?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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