Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
