There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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