Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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