come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
