this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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