yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
