the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
