I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize