good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
