Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize