I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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