I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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