guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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