He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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