You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
