If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
