All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sorry about my life...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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