we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
