i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
